Newsletter:
Vol. 4. Iss. 2
15 May 2003
My Big Fat Turkish Haircut
By Mark Williams
I got toasted in Turkey.
I was privileged to travel with The Society for Biblical Studies this last February in Western Turkey along with my Bishop, Ann Sherer, and the 2003 ordination class for the Missouri Conference of the United Methodist Church. We toured archaeological sites related to St. Paul’s mission journeys and studied the modern context of missions on the Anatolian Peninsula.
Pre-war tension was on the rise here at home and there was some pre-travel tension among our group. When we landed in Turkey our anxiety melted. Everyone we met was open, hospitable, and eager to hear about our home. We toured by day, ate like royalty, stayed at great hotels, and some of us young Turks (I’m merely 47, you decide) went prowling at night.
It was Saturday evening in Izmir, a city of 5 million. Feeling exceptionally shaggy, I hit the darkening streets in search of a barber. My roommate, Jeremy accompanied me. We walked about 2 miles and found an open salon. The barber started out by serving Turkish coffee. I was sold.
About halfway through the excellent cut, the stylist began wrapping cotton batting around a long slender pair of scissors. Pouring a volatile smelling fluid on the cotton and flicking his Bic, he turned the cotton/scissor combo into a flaming inferno. He approached me with this torch and began whacking on one ear and then another ear with this conflagration—minister flambeau. It was painless but confusing (an apt description of much of my preaching, as well). He completed the whack job by brushing off the singed remains of ear hairs that up to that moment I never knew existed.
Immediately following this barber-que (get it? barber-que?) He removed the cotton batting from the scissors and dove deep into my nostrils for a trim. At this point Jeremy exclaimed “Dude, you’d best tip this guy good!” It was my most memorable coiffure ever.
The Turkish people were some of the friendliest folk I’ve ever met. There was never a moment when I didn’t feel safer than I do on the streets of Missouri’s suburbia. We loved our touring by day, our prowling by night, the insights we gained, and the gracious and hospitable people of Turkey.
I’m beginning to feel shaggy again. I’m ready to fly back for another big fat Turkish haircut!
Mark Williams is a United Methodist minister serving in St. Louis, Missouri, and co-chairs the Order of Elders for the Missouri Conference. Whether or not his “cut” was “excellent” is a matter of opinion.
