Newsletter:
Vol. 4. Iss. 2
15 May 2003
Reflections
on a Pilgrimage to Turkey
The Rev. Sherry Haben
If pilgrimage is, in part, to inspire you to see yourself in new and different ways and to discover how others perceive you, then this trip was truly a pilgrimage for me. In the midst of anxiety about travel, war, safety, and a host of other concerns, I struggled with what I was called to do. There were many concerns and pressures from others to stay home. In making the decision to go, I found a new dimension of myself. As I traveled to the different sites, and conversed with those culturally different than me, I discovered a broadened concept of my place in the world, in history, and certainly in ministry. Maybe part of the struggle in whether to go was the underlying understanding that I would not return as the same person. In making the decision to go, I was making a decision to ultimately change me.
That change became clear to me as I returned from my pilgrimage to those who had not journeyed with me. I found that I carried back a different perspective, certain information and understanding, which meant I did not fit into the same place I had been before I left. Learning more about Middle Eastern history, politics, religion, and culture made me realize that there was so much that I didn’t know that impacts the issues in that region and the world in relation to it. These issues are very complicated and I became even more aware that most often we do not have the whole story. We cannot stay where we are in one place and stand in the other at the same time. We must allow for what we do not see and leave room for what we do not know. I think, however, that we only understand that perspective when we have indeed left our place and stood in the other. It is like taking an item from its original packing – and finding it never goes back in the same way.
On my return, I found that the different perspective at times made me feel isolated. This is especially true due to the timing of our return with the imminent onset of war in the Middle East. Fear of impending war was causing some to speak from stereotypical images and closed-down understandings. I was very aware that others did not have benefit of the experiences I had. However, due to the timing, I also found a great interest in my trip. Approximately 100 people came to a recent presentation. Many apparently seeking some sense of understanding as to what was going on “over there.” The challenge was to share my experience in a way that would facilitate dialogue and the desire to broaden understanding. I chose to speak from the perspective of “my experience and changed perspective” without the expectation that others would necessarily agree or even understand. I found some people to be interested, thoughtful, and willing to dialogue.
I have found that my experiences, indeed just the decision to go, changed my perception of myself as person and minister. The ancient city of Ephesus brought new depth to Biblical history and new excitement that has already impacted teaching and preaching. A meeting with a little street child in the Grand Bazaar compels me to continue to reflect on who I am in ministry and challenges me to continue the pilgrimage. Since my return, the struggle in the beginning as to whether to go, becomes a struggle to discern the different ways in which I am called to use the experience and allow it to speak to my life and ministry. I do not fit back into the original packing!
The author traveled to Turkey on a thirteen day mission study program with The Society for Biblical Studies that departed the USA on 16 February 2003. The program was led by Bishop Ann Sherer, the United Methodist Bishop in the Missouri Annual Conference. The group included two representatives of her leadership team and candidates for ordained ministry. The program included visits to archaeological sites, extensive exposure to contemporary issues and meetings with missionaries and Turkish nationals, including Muslims and Christians.
